Today would have been my mom's 61st Birthday...So I am going to share one of her time honoured traditions with you...
In our family it is a common occurance to try and humiliate and frighten half to death a member of our immediate family...
My sister has a huge talent for this, putting in many hours to complete her task and on several occasions made me pee myself.....no joke.....but she comes in second to my mother...
I arrive home one day, put my key in the door and hear the usual. The T.V. is on in the living room and I can smell a stew going...Yumzer I think to myself..I love my mom's stew..there is nothing better....
Anyway...I walk into the living room throwing my belongings on to the couch and make my way into the kitchen to steal some stew...
I say steal because It's a known fact that myself and sister will sit there with our civilised bowls of stew with a piece of vienna bread and a glass of milk while we observe my brother sitting there with a half loaf of buttered batch and a pint glass of milk with can only be described as a casserole dish size bowl of stew on his lap...He proceeds to then lash his bread into the stew a whole slice at a time while ramming the whole thing into his mouth...boys will be boys...
So there I am with a nice small bowl of boiling stew wandering into the living-room delighted with myself for two reasons, one I have coveted a delicious meaty bowl of stew before my brother and two I get full control of the remote as I am all alone...or so I thought..
I step into the living room balancing the stew in my hands with a spoon dangling out of my mouth when all of a sudden my mom throws herself out of the cubby hole under the stairs armed with a very large knife and sporting some sort of foam like substance all over her mouth....
Of course the first thing I do is throw the stew all over myself and the room scalding myself in the process...then proceed to choke on the spoon..it's at this point that my mom literally starts choking with the laughter. As I am crying with the fright she has to run off to pee cause she is so delighted with herself and her achievement... I remember at that point thinking there is something wrong with our little family...
As I sit here on a Sunday morning writing this, knowing that even though every single time she got me with one of her terrifying jokes I wished she wouldn't, I wish she could jump out from somewhere and frighten the living shite out of me again....one more time...
I suppose that if she did that now it probably 'would' frighten the living shite out of me, what with her having passed on...but anyway I know she's out there somewhere watching and that everytime I get a fright she has a laugh about it.............Happy Birthday Mom..I miss you every day!
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