Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Happy Birthday MoM!!!

Today would have been my mom's 61st Birthday...So I am going to share one of her time honoured traditions with you...

In our family it is a common occurance to try and humiliate and frighten half to death a member of our immediate family...

My sister has a huge talent for this, putting in many hours to complete her task and on several occasions made me pee myself.....no joke.....but she comes in second to my mother...

I arrive home one day, put my key in the door and hear the usual.  The T.V. is on in the living room and I can smell a stew going...Yumzer I think to myself..I love my mom's stew..there is nothing better....

Anyway...I walk into the living room throwing my belongings on to the couch and make my way into the kitchen to steal some stew...

I say steal because It's a known fact that myself and sister will sit there with our civilised bowls of stew with a piece of vienna bread and a glass of milk while we observe my brother sitting there with a half loaf of buttered batch and a pint glass of milk with can only be described as a casserole dish size bowl of stew on his lap...He proceeds to then lash his bread into the stew a whole slice at a time while ramming the whole thing into his mouth...boys will be boys...

So there I am with a nice small bowl of boiling stew wandering into the living-room delighted with myself for two reasons, one I have coveted a delicious meaty bowl of stew before my brother and two I get full control of the remote as I am all alone...or so I thought..

I step into the living room balancing the stew in my hands with a spoon dangling out of my mouth when all of a sudden my mom throws herself out of the cubby hole under the stairs armed with a very large knife and sporting some sort of foam like substance all over her mouth....



Of course the first thing I do is throw the stew all over myself and the room scalding myself in the process...then proceed to choke on the spoon..it's at this point that my mom literally starts choking with the laughter.  As I am crying with the fright she has to run off to pee cause she is so delighted with herself and her achievement... I remember at that point thinking there is something wrong with our little family...

As I sit here on a Sunday morning writing this, knowing that even though every single time she got me with one of her terrifying jokes I wished she wouldn't, I wish she could jump out from somewhere and frighten the living shite out of me again....one more time...

I suppose that if she did that now it probably 'would' frighten the living shite out of me, what with her having passed on...but anyway I know she's out there somewhere watching and that everytime I get a fright she has a laugh about it.............Happy Birthday Mom..I miss you every day!

Day Three After Surgery - My Mom's Diary Entry

This is an excerpt from my mom's diary, only she can explain how this felt:

"Well I have had the tests, I've even had the op.  Ovarian Cancer.  I don't know if I can even spell it right.  It's invaded my body and I'm not sure how to spell it correctly.  For two days I've planned my funeral in my head.  It looks pretty gloomy.

I've a malignant Tumor on one overy, a growth on the other.  the cancer has spread to some fatty tissues that runs across the stomach. they will remove the overy and the fallopian tubes and the womb.  The problem may be that the Tumor is stuck to the bowel.  After the op I feel fine.  I don't feel as though they have taken much.  They haven't...not even one overy.

I'm to have eight sessions of chemo in-between they will try to operate again.

Todays Quote:

This is the true joy of life

Being used for a purpose

Recognised by yourself 

As a mighty one

Being a force of nature

Instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances

Complaining that the world will devote itself to making you happy

Betty Byrne / McDonnell a total legend!

Firstly I would like to thank you for reading, be patient, this blog is not about me really, but about someone far more important....My mom. 

My mothers birthday is soon upon me and for many reasons it seems important to share our experiences of dealing with Cancer with other Cancer patients, survivors and family members of these couragous and stong people.  I say 'our' experiences because although my mother lost her battle with the disease she kept a diary of almost every emotion she experienced right until the end and I would like to share these with others along with some of my own.

I was, for the last year of her life, my mothers full time carer.  This time was the most rewarding time of my life.  It was tough at times, but not always.  It is always there, in the back of your head, that they might be going somewhere but you just have to push that all to the back of your head and embrace every opportunity to share, to laugh, to love and to remember all those wonderful times you have shared with each other.

My mother was one of the most amazing women I have ever met....and I'm not being biased.  She was an amazing woman.  Her whole life was about her children.  She spent every day telling us how amazing we were, how beautiful we were and how talanted we were. 

Now, I could have been the dullest, most unattractive and useless loser that ever walked the planet but due to her total bias, and total sincerity I believed every word of it.

I am an avid Eastenders fan and was total appaled by the Tanya storyline, not because its about Cancer, I think it's an important storyline but because of the way they are dealing with it.  I know, I know, its 'Eastenders', a soap, its supposed to be far fetched but for the love of God. 

I'm not going to go on about what exactly I found dreadfull as this is not a blog about 'Eastenders' its a blog about dealing with Cancer and being the child of a perent with cancer.  Every person who deals with this disease has a different experience.  Not all of these experiences are bad. 

There are many different types of Cancer and who am I to say what one would or wouldn't do in any circumstance or how treatment effects different people, I can only write about what I know.

My mother was officially diagnosed on the 31st June 1996.  I was 19 years old and the eldest of three. She had been complaining for months about being totally swollen and feeling pregnant, but this was impossible as she had been seperated from my father for years and the only people she cared about was us, her kids.

I was a really independant young woman and had moved out the year before.  I remember getting a call in the middle of the night prior to her being diagnosed and she was screaming in pain.  I immediately drove to her and  I took her to the emergency room.  We spent hours in A&E, some 12 year old doctor saw us and x-rayed her and told her it was a kidney infection and sent us on our way.

I had a feeling that night something wasn't right, but who was I to argue with a young doctor.  This soon changed after she was diagnosed, I argued with a lot of them.  Anyway, I dont want to start this blog with a random string of thoughts that go nowhere but I will leave you with this, it's a quote, one of the first in my moms diary:

Feeling sorry for yourself and your present condition is not only a waste

of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

                                                                              Dale Carnegie