Scream Your Head Off - Make The Seven Exhibitions of Yourself!

I don't know if it's an Irish thing or whether its across the board but do we Irish sit back and take crap....sometimes yes....but not always..

Its funny how one can go into protection mode when one of their loved ones isn't getting the care they deserve.

My mother was a teacher for 15 years when she was diagnosed.  She taught Art and Literacy.  She worked every day to provide us with the things we needed.  She was a hero.  She paid her taxes and was one of the most honest people I have ever met.  She was the type of woman who walked into a store, got too much change and always handed it back..no matter how small or large the denomination.

When your a carer and you know how generous and honest someone is it totally infuriates you to think that they are being screwed..and that is what happened my mom.

Not far into her diagnoses she was told she was to have chemo.  Grand..we can deal with that.  Because my mom earned a salary and at the time there was no drugs payment scheme she was not entitled to a medical card, which meant that any treatment she had to have or drugs would have to be funded by ourselves.

Now my mom was a teacher..not financially flush by any means but she earned a living and provided for three kids all her life, paid a mortgage and put food in our mouths and clothes on our backs so when the chemist told me that the monthly prescription she was going to have to have was going to run upwards of €1000 I nearly dropped dead..

She didn't have that much, she had a few thousand in savings but at this rate that would be gone due to the fact that  she had to pay for her meds, (she didn't have private health insurance ) and I wasn't going to stand for it.

When I told her she was like "well we will apply for a medical card and I will pay it until we get that"  I checked and these things could take about 3 months to get...then they told her she wasn't entitled to one because of her earnings the previous year... I ran amok!!!

I contacted Bertie Ahern, the Irish Prime Minster at the time and caused ructions...he informed me he would look into it..weeks passed and no luck...made threats to call Gerry Ryan..local radio host at the time...Bingo...Medical Card in the post.

The same happened in the hospital, mom got a call to go in for this new treatment...when we arrived they told us there were no available beds, we left and went home, mom was like "oh, well probably someone worse off needs it"...got a call the next day and off we went back up to the hospital, they told us they had no beds...

I lost the plot, I started screaming and shouting about playing with peoples emotions then took out my phone and told the doctor "grand, I have a friend who works for Gerry Ryan" I started pretending to dial the phone number...now I don't have a friend who works for Gerry Ryan...then I was like "Mary, yeah, we are back here again and they are telling us they haven't a bed...yeah I'm willing to go on live" the doctors face dropped and within fifteen minutes my mom was tucked up in the ward...

I probably went overboard but sometimes you need to.  I respect Doctors, I know they have a job to do, but their job is to help those in need..I know politics doesn't help and it isn't personal for them...but it is for us...its very personal, its the difference between life and death!

My advise to anyone dealing with anyone is fight fight and more fight...threats threats and more threats..its the only way to get anything done.  The more embarrassing you are the better...

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Happy Birthday MoM!!!

Today would have been my mom's 61st Birthday...So I am going to share one of her time honoured traditions with you...

In our family it is a common occurance to try and humiliate and frighten half to death a member of our immediate family...

My sister has a huge talent for this, putting in many hours to complete her task and on several occasions made me pee myself.....no joke.....but she comes in second to my mother...

I arrive home one day, put my key in the door and hear the usual.  The T.V. is on in the living room and I can smell a stew going...Yumzer I think to myself..I love my mom's stew..there is nothing better....

Anyway...I walk into the living room throwing my belongings on to the couch and make my way into the kitchen to steal some stew...

I say steal because It's a known fact that myself and sister will sit there with our civilised bowls of stew with a piece of vienna bread and a glass of milk while we observe my brother sitting there with a half loaf of buttered batch and a pint glass of milk with can only be described as a casserole dish size bowl of stew on his lap...He proceeds to then lash his bread into the stew a whole slice at a time while ramming the whole thing into his mouth...boys will be boys...

So there I am with a nice small bowl of boiling stew wandering into the living-room delighted with myself for two reasons, one I have coveted a delicious meaty bowl of stew before my brother and two I get full control of the remote as I am all alone...or so I thought..

I step into the living room balancing the stew in my hands with a spoon dangling out of my mouth when all of a sudden my mom throws herself out of the cubby hole under the stairs armed with a very large knife and sporting some sort of foam like substance all over her mouth....



Of course the first thing I do is throw the stew all over myself and the room scalding myself in the process...then proceed to choke on the spoon..it's at this point that my mom literally starts choking with the laughter.  As I am crying with the fright she has to run off to pee cause she is so delighted with herself and her achievement... I remember at that point thinking there is something wrong with our little family...

As I sit here on a Sunday morning writing this, knowing that even though every single time she got me with one of her terrifying jokes I wished she wouldn't, I wish she could jump out from somewhere and frighten the living shite out of me again....one more time...

I suppose that if she did that now it probably 'would' frighten the living shite out of me, what with her having passed on...but anyway I know she's out there somewhere watching and that everytime I get a fright she has a laugh about it.............Happy Birthday Mom..I miss you every day!

You have Cancer...WTF!

How mom felt on day one!

I remember the day I found out my mom had cancer.  It was only a few days after she found out herself.  My mom had told me that she had a cyst on her ovary and that she was going in as an in patient to get it removed.  She told me it was no big deal and she was delighted that someone was eventually doing something about it.

My mom was so convincing she even made jokes about feeling like Sigourney Weaver and getting the Alien out of her.  It's easy to think that things are better than they are when your mother is telling you everything is grand. She's your mother, you think that of all the people who will tell you the truth it would be her.

I know she was only protecting us but one can feel a little disappointed when you find out you are being left in the dark.  The funny thing is I remember when I found out saying to her "why didn't you tell me, I needed to know" and "I feel like a muppet".  This was not about me....My mother was ill and there I was thinking, woe is me, my mom is sick, what am I to do....

Anyway, I knew she was having her "minor surgery" at about 10am and I was in work thinking great she will be so much better after this.  I tried calling her mobile a few times after 11am knowing that if it was minor then she would be out quite soon, I tried again and again into the afternoon.  At about 2pm having worked in a hospital and knowing how to get through to surgeons myself I decided to ring the hospital desk and ask to page the registrar of her surgeon.

Score, I got through.  The registrar picked up and I stated that my mother had undergone surgery and I wanted to know how she got on.  The registrars first reply was "oh yeah, well the tumours were to big to remove, we are going to have to sit down and think of other options"  I was stunned...I replied "are you telling me my mother has cancer" I asked stupidly...."oh God, I'm sorry, your going to have to talk to her consultant" and hung up.

I sat there in a state of shock for what appeared to be ages but it must have been only a couple of seconds.  One of my colleagues passed me and I must have been just staring at the phone receiver because she came over and took it off me.....

The next hour was a blur, I don't know how I got to the hospital but I did and I was sitting by her bed when she woke up...her first words to me were "Is it gone, did they get it"  It was totally heart breaking, but she was a fighter and when I told her no she just asked "OK, what's the new plan"  I just took her hand, gave it a squeeze and said "we fight it"..she didn't want my younger sister finding out she was sick, she was still the baby.

That day was one of the worst in my life.  I haven't had many bad days but that was a bad day.  My one piece of advise to someone who finds out their parent or loved one has been diagnosed with cancer is...don't  think about how this affects you, think about how this affects them, they are the important ones in this situation, you can deal with your emotions later but for right now, its all about them, just be there for them.

Todays quote from my mom's diary:
                            If you only walk where the sun shines you will never complete your journey.
                                                                                                           Unknown